Five loves and you

In celebration of valentine’s day I decided to do a little writing. Hope it’s an enjoyable day for everyone.

Five Loves And You

Three simple words can mean a world to them
“I love you” takes you and you, and makes it you and him.
There were five loves before you came that along
They all came and went but each seemed so wrong.
They never meant as much to me as you
They all had purpose from which my love grew.

Who she was, was the beginning of the end
The start of dating life and the start of a trend.
She was my first and it ended early on
But it never went away, it was never truly gone.
The innocence surrounding it, it seemed at ease
Being in high school we wanted time to just freeze.

What she was, was anything but simple and serene
Hiding what was happening behind a smoke screen.
By day it was professional, knowledgeable and right
But after we left the office it was a much different sight.
It was cherished and wonderful but in the end it was too much
Sadly it vanished and we never stayed in touch.

When she was, was a period of great chance
It was sudden and rapid, a quick jump at romance.
We were both finishing school and looking ahead
Not knowing at that the paths were separately led.
Yet the timing was not right, differences were there
What once seemed so promising vanished into thin air.

Where she was, was playing summer ball in a different state
It was a random chance meeting that led to this fate.
I went for a month to play ball and enjoy my stay
But in that time something there wouldn’t let me pull away.
There was so much distance, no chance for it to be
Sometimes I wonder if I stayed longer would I get a chance to see.

Why she was, was for every chance that never might exist
For every person out there who won’t experience that kiss.
You love because you can, you are able to give and receive
Sometimes it doesn’t go your way and sometimes we grieve.
But why we do it shouldn’t be for anyone else except our own
And on the day that it happens, our paths will be shown.

But you bring them together and make it all whole
You are wonderful, and my heart you have stole.
Each love came before but I already knew
And each heartbreak has brought me closer to you.

It’s Not That Funny

Everyone was laughing, except you

All I really remember was laying on the ground crying and having an intense pain shooting up my arm. All the other kids standing around me and one erupted with, “good job Zach, what a loser. You can’t even hang on a swing set!” And laughter poured out of their lungs. All I could do is run away not even realizing that I had broken my arm in the process of the fall.
It all started with a dare, which lead to each kid wanting to outdo the next with a cooler trick. I was younger than the rest so I wanted to prove that I could hang with the bigger kids. This would ultimately prove costly in more ways than one. Also I am pretty sure after that day I never wore Umbros (anyone else remember those shorts) again. Anyways, I thought hanging upside down with slick shorts on a metal swing set moving back and forth would be a cool trick to do (mind you that I was 6 at the time). So I started rocking back and forth and before you know it I was a rocking a little too far and started to slip. While falling I tried to catch myself instead of just landing on my back and snap, there went my left arm. Broke both bones in my forearm. Again, when I got up and was crying all of the older kids were laughing at me for falling like I did. I don’t think any of them knew my arm was broken at the time but regardless, they all thought the fall was hilarious and all I could do was sit there and cry.

Ps- don’t hang upside down on swing sets.

An Escape

Where do you go to escape?

Where do I go to escape? Over the years there have been a few places that I loved to go to get away. The beach, listening to waves crash and the moon bouncing off of the water. The mountains, being surrounded by Christmas tree farms. The smell of those trees and the quietness of nothing for miles. And finally my bedroom, and the solitude after shutting the door behind me.

But if I couldn’t get to one of those there was always one place that I could go. The baseball field. From the time I could drive myself anywhere to about a week ago, that was my place of escape. Sitting under the stars with no one to bother you. Listening to crickets and other insects. The moon lighting just enough to see your surroundings. There is not a better place to be when you need to clear your head and get away. There are countless baseball fields that I have used for more than sport. Just a place to clear my head and relax. From my t-ball field in Reeds to my high school field at North Davidson. The multiple fields used while at Wake Forest to the high school field I found randomly here in Raleigh. (I don’t think I’m legally allowed to be there after hours so ill keep the location to myself for now haha)

Everyone has a place that they like to go to get away. My main one just happens to be the place where I spent most of my adolescent years. The same place that brought joy and pain was the best place to get away from everything else. It will always be the one place I can keep away from it all no matter how old I get.

Bad Pickup Lines

10 Bad Pickup Lines

These are the first 10 that came to mind. There are plenty other bad ones that you can think of yourself.

1. Did you know they changed the alphabet? They put U and I together.

2. Are your legs tired? Because you been running through my mind ALL day long.

3. You look like the type of girl that’s heard every line in the book. So what’s one more?

4. There is a party in my pants and you are invited.

5. Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you.

6. You must be from Tennessee, because you are the only Ten I See.

7. Hey, I’m searching for treasure, can I look around your chest?

8. I’ll be Burger King and you be McDonald’s. I’ll have it my way, and you’ll be lovin’ it.

9. Do I know you? Cause you look a lot like my next girlfriend.

10. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Imagine This…

Picture this if you will…

Sitting on the covered porch of a gorgeous mountain house. Holding a mug of your favorite hot chocolate in one hand and the hand of your loved one with the other as you watch the snow falling lightly around you. The peacefulness of the mountains surrounds you. No sounds except the wind gently pushing between the the trees.  Watching your kids playing in the yard down below. Making snow angels and snow forts.  Christmas time is around the corner and the spirit is in the air. Nothing could be better than where you are right now.  Its been a quiet afternoon for the most part except for your kids yelling at each other when one of them messes up the fort and they have to start over again.

But in the background you start to hear a rumble. Its nothing much, maybe a snow bank fell, or maybe someone decided to go hunting in the wrong season. Either way you push it off. Until you hear it again, but louder.  Being in the valley between two mountains it is hard to tell what it might be. And the snow has started to pick up so its getting harder to see anything past the fence line at the end of the yard.  The crashing sound gets louder as it seems to be getting closer to where you are. And all of the sudden right over the top of the house an inferno of flame and smoke blows past and crashes into the side of the mountain to your right. It was moving so quickly that it does not register at first what it was.  As the flames intensify on the side of the mountain you begin to hear what sounds like screams. And then it dawns on you what it was that came crashing over your head. It was a plane, and a very large one at that.

After calling a neighbor and they come over, you decide that you need to go towards the wreck and see if there are any survivors. By this time the snow has turned much worse and it is hard to see what is right in front of your face. You can still see a glow from the fire where the plane crashed so you know which way to head. Your neighbor brings over his snow-mobile which you have packed up two bags full of supplies for anyone that might be alive.  You journey off and as you get closer the screams for help get louder and more frantic. Passing bits of the plane as you journey up the mountain. Something starts to not feel right as you pull up the where most of the plane is.  People are walking around the plane missing limbs and blood is everywhere. Now this would be so crazy sounding except these injuries are too severe for people to actually be able to move.

You call out to see if they need any help, but they do not seem to hear you. Maybe it is the shock that makes them not be able to hear you. Maybe it is from the plane crash itself.  Either way you move closer to some of the injured to give supplies and help and as you do, they turn towards you. They start slowly moving but as they get closer you can tell they are not human.

How about that for my dream last night? I do not think I have had a more vivid dream in my life.  Unfortunately that is where my dream ended so I am going to have to finish the rest later on after work. I look forward to seeing where the rest of the story goes.

This Past Week

This past week has been a roller coaster compared to everything else. A lot has been learned but a lot more has to be learned. I am nowhere near the man I want to be, but I have come a long way from where I was. Do I know what I have to do? Yes. Will it take time? Yes. But are they worth it in the long run? Without a doubt.

The problem is that I am not sure I can do it alone. I know I can do a lot alone, but there are some things I know I can’t do. Can it be worked out besides with time? I’ll pray on it.

A Song With Perspective

On the way to work this morning I decided I was going to listen to a mellow station on pandora. I am not sure why but I chose piano, maybe because it is soothing, maybe because I would like to learn to play one day. I don’t know. Either way, the first song that came on was ‘Tiny Dancer’ by Elton John. Not a huge surprise considering that is mostly what he uses in his songs. But the second song that came on I had never heard of. It was called ‘This Years Love’ by David Gray. Like I said, I had never heard of the song or David Gray, so I was curious to see how the song would go.

I must say, I thought it was a pretty good song. I couldn’t really focus on the lyrics while I was driving so I decided to listen to it again while reading the lyrics once I got to work and was waiting to do something. It made the song even better. Getting to see the lyrics made me understand the song a little bit more. It also made me think, which I am trying not to do so much of. Nonetheless I did some thinking while rereading the lyrics and it puts some of my life into perspective. Am I reading too deep? Most likely, but that’s usually what I do. And I think because of that, I learned something today. I learned that for it to happen I need to slow down and be ready for it. I need not to rush anything and push it, especially if I want it to be right. I also learned that for it to be the right one, it needs to change the way I view things. It’s funny how a song can bring out views and ideas this early in the morning. Lets see what else might come about from my music today.

Read these lyrics while listening to the song and see what it does for you.

“This Years Love”

This years love had better last
Heaven knows it’s high time
And I’ve been waiting on my own too long
But when you hold me like you do
It feels so right
I start to forget
How my heart gets torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Feeling like you can’t go on

Turning circles when time again
It cuts like a knife oh yeah
If you love me got to know for sure
Cos it takes something more this time
Than sweet sweet lies
Before I open up my arms and fall
Losing all control
Every dream inside my soul
And when you kiss me
On that midnight street
Sweep me off my feet
Singing ain’t this life so sweet

This years love had better last
This years love had better last

So whose to worry
If our hearts get torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Don’t you know this life goes on
And won’t you kiss me
On that midnight street
Sweep me off my feet
Singing ain’t this life so sweet

This years love had better last
This years love had better last
This years love had better last
This years love had better last

Familiar Quotes

I got home today and needed a little pick-me-up so I was flipping through channels and came across Toy Story. Now Toy Story is definitely a movie from my childhood, and it has some great quotes throughout it. And that got me to thinking, what other quotes from my childhood I could remember. Some of the quotes I came up with were full quotes while others I had to look up just to make sure I had the right thing. I can remember my mom or dad reading each one of these and then learning to read them myself which made each one even better.  Each one of these quotes have their own specific meaning and they all mean something to me. So lets see what I could come up with.

 

I’ll love you forever,
I’ll like you for always,
As long as I’m living
my baby you’ll be.

– Love You Forever, Robert Munsch 

 

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.

– The Little Engine That Could, Watty Piper

 

If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.

– Winnie-the-Pooh, A. A. Milne

 

But the wild things cried, ‘Oh please don’t go — We’ll eat you up — we love you so!’

– Where the Wild Things Are, Maurice Sendak

 

Goodnight room Goodnight room,
Goodnight cow jumping over the moon.

– Goodnight Moon,  Margaret Wise Brown

 

I am trying to think if there are any others that I can think of. If there are, I will add them. If you have any, please leave a comment and let me know what you have.

A Clean Slate

Today starts a new month, and therefore I think there should be some changes made to myself. I thought that I had changed for the better but what I discovered was that it wasn’t enough. This month will be dedicated to admitting my problems and fixing them. Now obviously outside of this month I plan on doing things for myself and to better myself but starting today is when it really kicks in.

Like I said, I thought that I had moved past where I was. But it does not seem like that is so. I thought I could be friends with an ex but seeing her just does things to me. I tried to change things that I knew I couldn’t change. And I tried to push things that should not of been pushed. So from that experience I think it’s best for me to just care about the things that I can change. Not needing to worry about the things that are not changeable. I need to start enjoying the things that I have now rather than trying to enjoy the things that I want. I have always been told that I should go after what I want, but there are some instances where what you want and what you can have our two totally different things.

Now I would not say that I have a drinking problem, but I would say that I like to drink in excess when I do drink. Once I start I just kinda keep going with it and that is obviously not something that needs to happen. So for the entire month of April I am not going to drink once. Will it be difficult? Of course, but I think it is something that needs to be done. I will have to find something else to do. Maybe I will start to take some day trips somewhere.

I should speak my mind more often, and tell things upfront that I usually do not say. I’m going to work on not holding things in and saying them when they need to be said. I am going to stop trying to rush everything that I do. I just need to sit back and relax and let things happen.

I know what I need to change. And I know what I need to do to fix the things that I have not done correctly in the past. I just want to thank God for giving the chance to work on these things. He has a plan and I just need to follow it. I hope in reading this you decide to find something to work on as well.

Beauty

Describe beauty

Beauty comes in many different forms. One person might say a supermodel, while someone else might say a sunset. There is not just one definition to what beauty is and that is what makes it a great word. Looking at the prompt, I started trying to figure out how I would describe the word beauty in my head. Out of everything that could have come to my mind, there were only three ideas that really stuck.

The first is a sunset on the beach. Watching the red and orange combine to create some of the most amazing colors. The reflection off of the water creating the missing part if the sun as is slowly disappears. The peacefulness of watching the sunset while listening to the waves crashing, there is nothing better.

The second thing is a woman in a dress on a dance floor. But not in just any dress. In a floor length black dress, hugging each curve of her body. Just looking at her while she waits for me on the floor. Tempting me with the slit on her dress, exposing a sliver of her thigh. Even though it might be made up, seeing the light shining right on her while everything else around her seems to be dim and blurry. Her skin glistening softly against the light. And as I approach her, the scent of her perfume pulls me closer. That is beauty.

The final thought of beauty is the complete opposite of the last. A girl sitting in a pair or gym shorts and tee-shirt. Hair pulled back except for a few strands that are falling into her face. She not even trying to impress anyone while doing nothing important. She keeps trying to push them out of the way but they seem to fall right back. A girl that looks good with no makeup on is a sight to see. That is true and natural beauty.

Each one of these are what come to mind when I think about the word beauty. Each are very different in the way I see beauty. From nature to natural beauty. Each are different but at the same time they are the same. Creating the same feeling in their own way. Beauty is perceived differently by each of us. This is just my portrayal.